Politics

Bannon Appointed Regent

February 24, 2017 D. Quixote

By Teddy Lin, February 24, 2017   Washington —- President Trump signed an executive order this morning appointing Steve Bannon regent.  At a white-men-only signing ceremony, the president lauded Mr. Bannon and noted that this […]

Politics

Paul Ryan Snags Sycophant Award

February 22, 2017 D. Quixote

By Christian Winter, February 22, 2017   Washington —-  The National Me-First Foundation has awarded its first ever Sycophant Extraordinaire Award to House Speaker Paul Ryan.  National Me-First’s Sycophant Selection Committee voted unanimously for Mr. […]

Politics

Trump Issues President Trump Day Proclamation

February 20, 2017 D. Quixote

By Ima Mason, February 20, 2017   Washington —- President Trump issued a President Day proclamation this morning, changing this year’s national holiday from Presidents Day to President Donald Trump Day.  The proclamation reads:   […]

Politics

“The Buck Stops There!”: New Trump Slogan

February 17, 2017 D. Quixote

By Musby Kidden, February 17, 2017   Washington —-  Hold your impatient horses, America.  Donald Trump told us in January that he would replace his “Make America Great Again” slogan with “Keep America Great!”  According […]

Politics

Trump French Kisses Prime Minster Abe

February 13, 2017 D. Quixote

By Ima Mason, February 13, 2017   Washington —- In another demonstration of his awkward social behavior, Donald Trump French kissed the Japanese prime minister at the White House.  Fortunately, the out-of-bounds moment was off-camera […]

Politics

Mitch McConnell’s Trumpian Moment

February 10, 2017 D. Quixote

By Musby Kidden, February 10, 2017   Washington —- Some feared dementia, but according to Senate aides, Mitch McConnell has simply been listening a tad too much to the new president.  When Elizabeth Warren was […]

Politics

Vatican Offers Exorcist for Steve Bannon

February 9, 2017 D. Quixote

By Penelope Reingold, February 9, 2017   Rome —- The Vatican has offered the Trump administration the services of its top exorcist to remove the bad humors affecting Assistant to the President, Chief Strategist, and […]

Education

President Trump Banned from Public Schools

February 8, 2017 D. Quixote

By Fricka Honore, February 8, 2017   Washington —- The U.S. Department of Education surprised many today when it issued a warning to all U.S. public schools to bar President Trump from speaking to student bodies.  The […]

Politics

Trump Takes the Circus to MacDill AFB

February 7, 2017 D. Quixote

By Roger Lame, February 7, 2017   Tampa —- President Trump took his Clown Show Extraordinaire to MacDill AFB yesterday, managing to ingratiate himself with the airmen he is to lead, and at the same […]

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